Who Am I?
by Hino Hikari
Summary: A Visit of Hotaru's life - beginning when she was born as the Princess of Saturn. Finally Updated!!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer : I do not own Sailor Moon, its characters, plots, or anythimg. I am just borrowing them for the purposes of fic writing. Please don't sue. You will take away my anime collection.  
  
  
  
Who Am I?  
  
1 By Hino Hikari  
  
  
  
  
  
Prologue  
  
  
  
Who Am I?  
  
What an interesting question. I am known by several names. To the everyday world I am Hotaru Tomoe, the daughter of an infamous scientist. I am also the adopted daughter of Michiru Kaioh, the artist and musician, and Haruka Tenoh, the racer. To my classmates, I'm the freak, the girl who can't do anything athletic and who has strange powers. I am also Sailor Saturn, The Soldier of Destruction and Rebirth, The Princess of Saturn, The Messiah of Silence and the Bringer of Death. The most feared person in the Solar System.  
  
But that isn't who I am, it's what I am.  
  
To tell you who I am, I have to tell you who I was.  
  
  
  
End Prologue 


	2. Hotaru's First Lesson and a Mother's Pro...

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, it's characters, plots, etc. I'm borrowing them. Please don't sue me.  
  
  
  
Who Am I?  
  
1 By Hino Hikari  
  
Chapter One: Hotaru's First Lesson and A Mothers Promise  
  
  
  
My earliest memory… that would be growing up at the palace on Saturn. I never knew my father. Oh, I think I have already confused you. I just finished saying I was the daughter of a scientist. That is true, at least, in this incarnation. My memories, however, span over two thousand years. My first incarnation was as the daughter and heir to the Royal House of Saturn, the title of Queen.  
  
My lessons and preparation for the role I have to play began immediately once I was born.  
  
  
  
"Hotaru," a voice whispered softly. What? Was that my name? Who was calling it? Opening my eyes, I saw a face; pale, kind, but sad. Long dark hair, black, and violet eyes that knew things I'd never want to know.  
  
"Hotaru," she repeated, looking into my eyes, "I'm your Mother. You are my daughter, and you will be many things to many people as you grow, and mature. You will grow up, not alone, but separate. Your friends and loves will be few, Your enemies and Sorrows many. You will watch your friends die, you will kill; you will see worlds destroyed, and destroy them yourself. You yourself shall die, and then see the cycle repeated, as you also will lead the way to a new era. You won't like it, because you aren't required to, nor are you supposed to. I am going to teach you what your powers are and how to control them. I will show you what it is to laugh, love, and live. I will teach you all I know about life and death, as you cannot have one without the other, and you shall hold the Glaive of Silence, and decide on our world's fate."  
  
She was right. I didn't like what this woman, Mother, was telling me. I'd kill? Destroy entire planets? Die? Watch others do the same, and decide on the fate of my world? I began to cry, and Mother wiped away my tears, comforting me, rocking me back and forth in her arms as she sang me back to sleep.  
  
  
  
No, my mother didn't say that just so I would cry. She wasn't a cruel woman, she was honest. That was my first lesson about life: It will never be exactly what you want it to be, it just tells you what your role will be.  
  
  
  
End Chapter One.  
  
Loved it? Hated it? C'mon, guys, review me! Let me know what you think. I got the idea for this fic after reading Polgara the Sorceress by David and Leigh Eddings. I recommend you read it, but other books are before it. Anyway, let me know your reactions to this fic. Ja ne!  
  
Hino Hikari 


	3. Lessons and an Introduction to Court

Disclaimer: You know I don't own Sailor Moon. I know I don't own Sailor Moon. The rest of the world knows I don't own Sailor Moon. I do however own a computer that never likes working and a hamster named Silk who doesn't really like anybody. And a large quantity of assorted books and movies. But not Sailor Moon.  
  
A/N - My sincerest apologies and thanks to those who are still checking up on this story. See? I do know how to update! I am sorry it took so long, though. Since my last update I've taken on a second job, quit my first one, been suspended for a week in my current one, and possibly gotten a job at Pier 1 imports (which I am really looking forward too). I've also gone into severe debt and had to be the shoulder that was cried on a couple of times (Kris, you know what I'm talking about). So, this kinda took a backseat. But I would like to thank my reviewers (You made my day!) and without further ado, here's Chapter Two!  
  
Chapter Two - Lessons and An Introduction to Court By Hino Hikari  
  
While I was growing up, my life was fairly uneventful. The fact that I was a princess never really coloured my perceptions. I'd spend all of my time with Mother, and she taught me about my impending responsibilities. I watched her do the daily business of our kingdom, learned how to dress, how to properly address the various members of nobility. After supper, we'd sit and talk - about nothing in particular, but usually about what I thought about my mother's decisions in the kingdom. After a while Mother taught me how to read, and suggested that I go and see what I could learn about The Silver Millenium - how it got formed, who ruled, how were the rulers chosen, etc.  
  
That was an interesting project. Whole libraries had been dedicated to the Serenity line and Silver Millenium, and I was expected to read them all, and sum them up. Surprisingly, it didn't take me as long as I'd thought. Have you ever noticed that historians and authors always steal material? I must have read about fifty books on the Serenity's' of the Silver Millenium, and the other forty-nine said the same thing. If someone has already said it, why bother repeating it? I did learn a lot about my own family in the process, as well as becoming familiar with the customs and families of the other planets. The Silver Millenium had been founded when Serenity I of the Moon had convinced the rulers of all the planets that instead of fighting and raiding each other for any natural resources, that we should unite as a kingdom, and try it peacefully. All of the other rulers agreed, except for Queen Gaia of Earth. The Earthians (sorry, but it sounds better than 'Earthlings' do) had never raided for resources. Their planet provided everything they could need, and so they declined to become a part of the Silver Millenium, saying it wasn't necessary.  
  
It wasn't a peaceful kingdom at first, however. One of the problems that arose was this - who was to rule the New Kingdom? Each of the Queens was a competent ruler, but there were still a lot of grudges held by the people. The people of Venus, for instance, didn't want a ruler from Uranus, etc. After a year or so of thought, the reigning monarchs decided that the only sovereign they could all love and swear fealty to was Serenity. So, after millennia of wars and backstabbing, peace broke out, and Queen Serenity I of the Silver Millenium was crowned.  
  
I'm sorry about this impromptu history lesson here, but its necessary.  
  
After the coronation ceremony, the peoples of the Silver Millenium had spent the next two months feasting, partying, and celebrating the peace. After a while, though, things settled down and the Silver Millenium got underway.  
  
Things were fairly uneventful for a few centuries after that. Queen Gaia of Earth died about fifty years after the Founding, and her successor, Queen Metallia, assumed the throne. There were some minor conflicts between the planets, but those got smoothed over fairly easily. During the end of Serenity I reign, however, we were attacked.  
  
The Earth had been strangely quite during Queen Metallia's reign. The people knew that their new Queen had been unhappy with the thought of the Silver Millenium, and wanted to rule over it herself. Metallia organized the Earthian Army, and attacked.  
  
It was a horrible war, and no amount of Serenity's pleading to Metallia was making her give up her mission. Finally, uniting with the other rulers of the Silver Millenium, Serenity attacked, using all of her power to seal Metallia into the sun. No one really knows what happened to the monarchs on that day. But when Serenity's daughter, Serenity II, went into the room where the monarchs had staged their final battle, all that remained was a glowing silver crystal. When Serenity and her four guardians entered the room, the crystal floated over to her, sparkling all the while. She held out her hand, and it settled there. When the crystal touched her flesh, there was a bright flash, and a wand with a crescent moon appeared in front of her. The Crystal floated over to the wand, and settled onto it, just above the shaft and in the centre of the crescent. The Crescent Moon Wand then crested over to Serenity's still waiting hand, and the new Queen of the Silver Millenium was chosen.  
  
Later, once Queen Serenity II's ascension had been announced and the Earthian had selected a new King, Kamion, who wisely chose not to continue his predecessors war, the officials found a letter from Serenity I to her daughter, warning her of Metallia, and explaining what they had done. If Metallia should ever re-emerge from her Seal, the Ginzoushou, or Silver Crystal, must be used to destroy her. But Serenity warned that the Crystal, while it had great power, would take power from the one who used it to grant the wish of the bearer. If the amount of energy needed was more than the Bearer had, it would use their life-energy, killing the monarch. Realizing that this must never happen, Serenity contacted the new monarchs of the Silver Millenium, and used the Ginzoushou to awaken their planets' protectors, the Sailor Senshi. The Senshi's missions varied. The Inner Senshi - Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and their leader, Venus, would use their gifts and powers to protect the monarch and her heir from evil, and protect the Crystal. The Outer Senshi, Sailor Pluto, Neptune, Uranus and Saturn, their leader, would protect and guard the kingdom from outside threats and invaders.  
  
I related all of this to mother, and she was pleased that I had put it all together. I was about twelve at the time, and she felt it was my duty to know what had already happened with Metallia. She was preparing me for something that I wouldn't have to do for years yet, but it's nice to know what one is in for.  
  
After I had completed my study of the various planets, their monarchs, and the common nature of the gifts that each Senshi had, Mother told me that it was time for me to meet the Queen, her daughter, and their Court. They were due to arrive in a week, and she wanted to give me time to prepare.  
  
"The Princess is only a year or two younger than yourself, Hotaru," Mother told me, "but she is not like you. You have been taught to see what is necessary for the greater good of our realm, and to do that which is necessary. She has been taught that by believing in herself, she can overcome anything. This is not wrong, only a different way of looking at things. The Princess is a lovable little girl, and she can charm the birds' form the trees. But you must not become so attached to her that you lose sight of the greater good, and render yourself unable to do what you must. Do you understand?"  
  
"Hai, Okaa," I replied, "I will learn from the Princess, be her friend and guardian, but I must not let any emotions I have for her cloud my judgement of the realm's safety. Right?"  
  
Mother smiled gently, and gathered me up for a hug, "Good girl," she said softly, then, releasing me, she stood, placed one hand up to her head in a fainting gesture, and sighed, "Whatever am I to do? My daughter actually does have some measure of intelligence and is LEARNING! Has Metallia returned? Is the sky orange and have pigs grown wings? Are you ill?"  
  
"Mother!" I gasped out, laughing. I still miss her. Mother was more than just my parent or teacher, she was my best friend. I haven't found anyone yet who understood me and my position in life better than she did.  
  
Gomen ne, Chibiusa-chan, but Mother knew things about me that you couldn't even begin to imagine.  
  
  
  
Queen Serenity arrived a week later in mid-afternoon. We knew when she was going to arrive, so Mother and I were dressed in our formal gowns. My dress was a deep purple, floor-length satin gown with twin spaghetti straps on each side, fastened with little gold clasps. It fit snugly around my torso, suggesting the curves that I didn't quite have yet, and flowing out at the waist. We waited for the Queen to appear in the main foyer.  
  
Suddenly there was a white glow in the centre of the foyer, and when it vanished, Queen Serenity was there, surrounded by eight other girls. The Queen was easily identified. Queen Serenity XIII had a kind face, and long silver hair done into odangos and lavender eyes a few shades lighter than my own. Her daughter, the Princess Serenity, stood beside her. She had long golden hair in the same style as her mother, and her blue eyes looked like sapphires. When our eyes met, she smiled at me happily, and I knew immediately what Mother had warned me about. To have that girl smile like that, people would do anything.  
  
The other girls were a bit harder. The four flanking her were obviously the Inner Senshi. One had deep blue eyes and her short blue hair framed her face. Her uniform was blue, with baby blue bows. The one who stood behind her was slightly taller, with long black hair and dark eyes that flickered between black and a deeper violet than mine could ever be. Her uniform was red with purple bows. To the Princess' left was a blonde girl with sky blue eyes and an orange uniform. The bow on her chest was a navy blue, but the one on her back was a sunny yellow. She bore a remarkable resemblance to the Princess, and I realized she must be Sailor Venus, the Princess' cousin*. 'That's real good for the Princess.' I thought, 'in a high-risk situation, Venus can pretend to be her.' Behind Venus was a brown-haired girl with deep green eyes who towered over the other Inner Senshi. Her uniform was the same green as her eyes, with pale pink bows.  
  
I then focused my attention on the three remaining Senshi, my fellow Outers. I realized immediately that they were older than I was, about 14 or so, where the Inners were my age. They stood in a row behind the Queen, the Princess and her Guardians. The leftmost one was tall, almost as tall as the queen. She had long, dark green hair, olive skin, and the deepest fuschia eyes I have ever seen. Her uniform was black, with maroon bows, and unlike any of the others, she held a tall staff, with the end shaped like a key. To her right was a shorter woman with blue eyes and aqua hair. Her uniform was the a sea-green colour, with blue bows. She was watching my assessment of them calmly. Beside her, and about a head taller, was a blonde woman. Her hair was extremely pale, like flax, and cut shorter than most men's styles. She had forest green eyes, and her uniform was deep blue with pale yellow bows. They seemed to be assessing me as well.  
  
"Queen Serenity," Mother said formally, stepping forward, bowing her head in respect. Her gown was such a deep shade of purple it was almost black, and she had a light cape on as well as the tiara of the monarchs of Saturn, a silver piece with a large opal in the centre, surrounded by diamonds. "The Royal House of Saturn is honoured by your visit, my Queen. We entreat you to enjoy our hospitality, and ask that you consider our home your own."  
  
"Queen Luana," Queen Serenity, replied, nodding in acknowledgement, "I thank thee for your generous hospitality, and accept. Please allow me to introduce my daughter, The Princess Serenity," at the mention of her name, the Princess curtsied, and smiled at us again, "and her Guardians. Sailor Venus-" The orange clad girl bent her head slightly, "Sailor Jupiter," the green one, "Sailor Mars," red, "and Sailor Mercury." The blue-haired girl smiled and bowed formally.  
  
"Nice to meet you," they replied as one.  
  
Queen Serenity smiled, and motioned for the Outer Senshi to step forward. "These are the Outer Senshi. This is Sailor Pluto," she said, motioning to the one with the key, "And Sailors Uranus and Neptune."  
  
"I am Sailor Uranus," the blonde said.  
  
Mother smiled and greeted each of them, then motioned for me to step forward. "This is my daughter, the Princess Hotaru." She said simply. The formal greeting was my job.  
  
Keeping my eyes focused on the Queen's face, I curtsied and spoke. "My Queen," I said, remembering what I had been told, "I am the Princess of Saturn, destined to be the final Guardian of your kingdom. I offer myself to your kingdom's service, ask that you accept my offering, and grant me the power of a Sailor Senshi." My speech finished, I rose again to my full height and gazed into the Queen's eyes. She was smiling softly, but her eyes. in her eyes, was that.pity?  
  
"Princess Hotaru, Daughter of Saturn," the Queen replied, her sad eyes still on mine, "I accept your pledge to guard the realm from invaders and outside threats. Long have there been Sailor Senshi to guard our planets and protect the people." As she spoke, Queen Serenity raised the Crescent Moon Wand. The Ginzoushou sat glittering upon it like a small star. "Receive then the gift of your birth, Princess of Saturn, and take your place among my Court."  
  
There was a flash from the Crystal, and a warm, bright light surrounded me. The light flowed through my body and into my mind. It opened paths in my mind I never knew before, and I saw a door. I knew how to open that door.  
  
"Saturn Planet Power! Make-up!" I cried, and felt a new power wash over me.  
  
  
  
* I read somewhere that in the Silver Millenium, Sailor Venus was Princess Serenity's cousin. I'm not sure whether or not this is accurate, but I put it in anyway. Call it what you will, the author says so. :P 


End file.
